


All That Matters

by MagicalPossibilities



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26228062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalPossibilities/pseuds/MagicalPossibilities
Summary: A ball, a wish, and two idiots who have not told each other they're in love with the other, no matter how many times they've shown it.It's been a year since Regina and Henry have returned to Storybrooke from their cursed lives in Seattle and Snow White is throwing a ball. Regina continues to watch as Emma goes along with her marriage to Hook, but it's becoming more and more unbearable for her. When she's given the chance to make a wish to fall out of love with Emma, she's left to decide whether it will be worth the outcome and consequences for Emma and their family.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 15
Kudos: 119
Collections: Swan Queen Supernova V: Forever Starstruck





	All That Matters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crownedregality](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownedregality/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Ball](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26254855) by [crownedregality](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownedregality/pseuds/crownedregality). 



> Hi, everyone! First of all, thank you so much for checking out my Supernova fic. I really hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> I want to thank crownedregality for the amazing, emotional art that inspired this fic. I hope you all go check it out and leave a review :) [The Ball](%E2%80%9Carchiveofourown.org/works/26254855%22)
> 
> And I want to give the biggest thank you and shout out to the mods for all of their hard work and for continuing to make Swan Queen Supernova happen each year! 
> 
> Now, a little background/set up for the fic: It takes place almost a year after Regina, Henry, Zelena, and the rest of their family break the curse and come back from Hyperion Heights. Emma and Regina still have unspoken (but VERY obvious) feelings for each other but a lot is changing before and during this story. I didn't include baby Hope in this story because of how it needed to flow, so Emma and Regina's only children are adult Henry and Wish-Universe Henry (who I imagine is living teenage Henry life, his moms co-parenting and sharing custody, while he lives mostly with Regina but has a room at Emma's house that he stays at regularly). I think that's basically it. Once again, I hope you all enjoy reading and please, let me know what you think :)

The sun streams through the open castle window, illuminating Emma’s reflection in the ornate, maple vanity’s mirror as she finishes touching up her red lipstick. After she sets the makeup down, her eyes lift to study the woman staring back at her. She finds herself beneath the contouring, mascara, blush, and eyeshadow. Emma takes in her fuller cheeks; the hints of crow’s feet that crinkle slightly at the edge of her green eyes, as her lips lift into a soft smile.

This is the healthiest she’s looked in a long time; the most herself she’s seemed and has felt.

The most at peace. 

A contented hum rises from her throat as she sighs and sits up a little taller in the wooden chair beneath her. Her fingers find the soft locks of her golden hair, warm from the sun’s rays shining on it, and she lifts it into a bun, leaving some of the hair down to frame her face. It looks too elegant paired with the black and white plaid shirt that she’s currently wearing, but she knows it’ll be the perfect style to go with the red gown she’d picked out for tonight’s ball.

With that thought, she grunts and her painted lips fall into a straight line. She’s not really in the mood for a ball. Like always, too much has been happening lately and Emma just now feels like she’s beginning to settle and catch her breath. On top of that, all of her mother’s nonstop planning and discussing it for over a month hasn’t really helped to peak her excitement. But here she is…getting ready for the ball that Snow had suggested weeks ago.

During one of their Sunday family dinners, a routine that they’d started while Henry was in high school and picked up again after Henry and Regina had returned from cursed Seattle nearly a year ago, Snow had brought up how they hadn’t had any big celebrations at the palace since Regina’s coronation, which had happened not long after they’d gotten back. By the time Regina had served dessert that evening, Snow had gotten the elected queen’s unenthusiastic approval and had started to plan a spring ball that all of the kingdoms would be invited to.

Now that it’s here, Emma mostly feels relieved that it will be over soon. Snow won’t be asking her for opinions on food, décor, music, or which fairy lights will look best out on the terrace. She also won’t have to hear Snow chattering on about the possibilities for guests to meet their true loves as they dance the night away. That had begun to irritate Emma more than it probably should have, since that was irrelevant to Emma at this point, and because Snow always appeared to bring it up whenever she was in close proximity to Regina. She’d noticed how Regina had rolled her eyes at Snow’s hinting from the beginning, and she couldn’t help but be surprised that Regina hadn’t carried out some kind of quiet revenge on Snow at this point.

Oh, well. Maybe she’ll at least get to catch up with some friends and spend time with Regina, who she hasn’t seen much of in the past two weeks. God, they really need to talk. _She_ really needs to talk. And hopefully, tonight she can get it together and say what she’s needed to say for too long. To say what she should have said so long ago. She’s ready.

Hopefully, it’s not too late.

With determined fingers, Emma lifts a pin to the hair she’s holding, sliding it into the blonde strands to hold her bun in place. After the trouble the second one gives her, though, she considers taking her hair out of the bun and leaving it down. With an irritated huff, she decides to call for her mother, instead of completely giving up. 

A few moments pass, before she catches a shimmering in the doorway out of the corner of her eye. She can immediately tell it’s not Snow, but the unexpected familiar presence has a warm sensation stirring within her when she realizes who heard her call for help. 

“What do you need?” Regina wonders from where she’s standing at the threshold to the room of the castle that Emma has chosen as her dressing room.

“I can’t hold my hair and pin it at the same time,” Emma complains with a defeated frown, turning her head slightly toward the woman across the room, while trying to keep her hair in place. “Where’s Snow?”

“I believe she’s downstairs supervising something with the food or the flowers,” Regina sighs, coming to stand behind Emma. “I can’t keep track anymore.”

Emma sees the way Regina’s lips twitch up in the mirror, her deep brown eyes a mix of tiredness, exasperation, playfulness, and something fond. “Six more hours until this is over,” Regina reassures as she reaches for one of the bobby pins in front of Emma. “I almost regret having agreed to this, but we both know we never would have heard the end of it.”

“Yeah, this ball would have been happening at some point no matter what. I can’t believe I was almost forced to wear pink to this thing,” Emma groans softly, watching as Regina’s fingers move to the back of her head, the gentle touch sending a tickling chill up her spine.

“Mm. I would have used some magic to make it red if it had come to that,” Regina smirks from above her.

Emma replies with chuckle that ends in a grateful smile that Regina sees reflected in the mirror.

“You look great, by the way,” she offers softly, taking in Regina’s own gown, light purple and sparkling along the sleeves and the lighter bodice. Her hair is up with a crown wrapped around it. “Very regal,” she adds, her eyes slightly teasing.

“Thank you, _Princess_ Emma,” Regina teases back, her eyes softening as they fall back to Emma’s hair, threading the last pin into the bun.

Emma watches as Regina’s fingers continue to linger against her hair. There’s something pensive and overwhelming in the other woman’s gaze as it remains focused on her fingers. It leaves something fluttering inside Emma. Instinctively, she brings her hand up to find Regina’s, and weaves their fingers together, squeezing lightly. “Thank you,” she tells her softly with a warm smile.

She can hear the way Regina quietly clears her throat as she moves to stand beside Emma. Their hands hold each other for another long moment, while their eyes search each other. 

Something heavy and melancholy seems to have settled over Regina in recent months. It wasn’t unfamiliar to Emma; just something that hadn’t been as prominent in the other woman when they’d first been reunited. But Regina had seemed a little lighter then—almost relieved. Like she was happy just to be back with her entire family and to start this new chapter with all of the kingdoms united in Storybrooke. Little by little, though, Emma had noticed something almost pained about her; something shattered—even in her eyes.

“I should go,” Regina murmurs, but doesn’t make any attempt to leave.

“Or you could stay,” Emma shrugs. “At this rate, I might need help getting my shoes on or zipping up my gown.”

A tinge of pink creeps into Regina’s cheeks and her eyes fall to their hands as she chuckles lightly, “I’m sure you can manage.”

“What if I just want company?” Emma wonders with the hint of a smile, her eyes gently pleading.

Regina seems to hesitate for a moment, but then she accepts with a nod and a brief smile.

Just as Emma stands to go get her dress, heavy footsteps interrupt her, and soon Hook is striding into the room. Emma has to fight a groan but doesn’t manage to conceal an eyeroll at his _impeccable_ timing and the sudden unwanted change that settles over the room. It’s not as tense as it had been at times in the past, but it’s still as uncomfortable as it always is when Regina and Hook have to be near each other. “Swan,” he greets, walking over to Emma, giving her arm a light squeeze, before he sits in an empty chair across the room. “I suppose I should apologize for interrupting.”

“No need,” Regina tells him flatly, causing Hook and Emma to turn to her. “I was just leaving to check on our sons.” Her eyes flick over to Emma’s, and they’re filled with that same storm of emotions Emma has met too many times before. The one that always makes something sink inside of her. She has to stop herself from stepping forward to reach for Regina. “If you need help with your dress, hopefully this one can figure it out,” Regina points her thumb in Hook’s direction, unable to stop the snarky jab.

“Regina,” Emma begins, but then closes her mouth, wanting to stop Regina from leaving, but knowing now is not the time to bring up everything she needs to say to the other woman.

“I’ll see you downstairs,” Regina says, receiving a nod from Emma, before turning and walking out of the room.

* * *

Once she’s far enough away from Emma’s room and finally at the staircase that leads down to the main entrance to the palace, Regina stops. Her eyes fall closed as she steadies herself against the stone wall. The storm within her whirls and makes her stomach uneasy, even as the flame it had extinguished tries to come to life again. 

The longing she’d left with and felt for Emma during all of the time she’d spent with Henry in the other realm had never truly faded. On the contrary, it had grown to be a part of her. Something that had ached within her so consistently, she couldn’t remember what it was like not to feel it. It should have been unsurprising. Anything she’d ever felt for Emma had been consuming. And if she was honest, the longing—the yearning had been there long before she’d gone with their son. No matter what they could or couldn’t be to each other, those feelings that she’d felt so deeply for Emma, remained. And somehow what she could still be to Emma was enough. Their connection was enough. The laughter, the banter, the eyes that held more for each other than their voices ever said...it made it somewhat bearable, before she’d chosen to join Henry on his adventures through the other realm. 

And it had still been bearable, though overwhelming, when her memories and feelings flooded through her when the curse had broken in Seattle. And then, when she’d held Emma again for the first time after returning to Storybrooke, feeling like she hadn’t seen her in close to a decade, even if it wasn’t nearly as long for the other woman. The embrace she struggled to pull away from after needing it for so long.

Now, it’s almost a year later since they’d come back.

A year of more shared laughter, banter, family, moments of their magic coming together.

Shy smiles, knowing looks, flushed cheeks.

Confessions that could never pass her lips.

Confessions that she felt almost made it past Emma’s. 

And then there was the forgetting that was becoming easier and easier, until something always jolted her back to reality. A gaze that was too lingering and intimate; fingertips that brushed too purposefully; touches that created warmth and shivers at the same time. They weren’t new, but they were louder. They were like secrets that longed to be told; needed to be shared. 

Except she knew they were already understood. 

And it made her wonder. And it made her still have that flicker of hope for something she considered it was wrong to hope for.

Because there was Hook. Walking into the room and reminding Regina he belonged there. Accompanying Emma to Sunday dinners and spring balls. Snaking an arm around Emma when he wanted her close.

And there was also Emma’s wedding band that always managed to shine bright gold in the sunlight. 

Except...Emma’s hand had been bare as it held Regina’s a little while ago. And Hook had arrived at the castle a couple hours after her. And Emma had looked disappointed when he’d interrupted them. Although, she usually did. 

Still, Emma was married. She’d chosen Hook 6 years ago. She stayed with him; shared her life with him. Found some happiness with him. Even if things appeared to be less perfect now.

Emma was Hook’s.

They were husband and wife.

Regina releases one more long breath, her hand resting upon her rolling stomach.

Then, she steels herself.

What she already has is far more than she deserves.

It’s already enough.

With that, she continues down the stone steps of the spiral staircase, the tears in her eyes never meeting her cheeks.

* * *

The palace is alive and bustling with guests, caterers, an orchestra, and a DJ. Regina takes it all in from her spot beside a large pillar, closer to the door than the dance floor. Snow really had done a wonderful job with selecting the late spring flowers, candles, and hints of lilac throughout the room. It feels elegant, romantic, and full of life. It has something dancing within Regina that’s warm and light, even if it has to fight against her trying to push it away. She expects to be sitting at the head table most of the night, and the last thing she should be feeling is the tingling promise of romance that is stirring in the air. Not when she knows no stranger will catch her eye. Not when there’s already someone else who has the maddening power to take her breath away with one knowing smile; who sparks heat deep within her with one lingering gaze.

She fights the urge to roll her eyes, and instead, mentally shakes herself out of her thoughts. Not here. Not tonight. Tonight will be about enjoying the company of her family. It won’t be about longing to dance with someone she can never have as more than a friend. It won’t be about the lost chance that was never taken.  
  


As if hearing her thoughts, Regina eyes snap to the red gown that appears in the entranceway. Emma is laughing with Henry as he leads his daughter over to the head table where Snow and David are currently sitting. Regina can’t help the way her eyes hold Emma, traveling over the rich material of her beautiful gown that rises to sit below her shoulders, dipping slightly in the middle. Her bun is still intact, and Regina’s fingers tingle with the memory of the soft golden strands that they danced along earlier. She feels her face warm, just as Emma’s eyes meet hers. The laughter in them quickly fades, becoming something weighted and serious. Something—more.  
  
Regina attempts a small smile, and Emma doesn’t hesitate to return it. But then they’re silent conversation is interrupted as Hook appears and rests a hand on Emma’s back, leaning into her. Regina notices the way Emma stiffens a bit but doesn’t move away from his touch. Something sour creeps up the back of Regina’s throat, and she swallows to push it down, her eyes shifting back to the rest of the room.  
  
There are tables set up all around, where guests are eating and mingling. It’s been an hour since everyone had started to arrive, and now the atmosphere has become more relaxed and comfortable with the help of music, wine, and friendly conversation.

“This party doesn’t completely suck,” Zelena smirks as she strolls up to Regina. “I’m surprised.”

Regina nudges her with her arm, seeing that Snow is only a few feet away with Neal.

“She did do a wonderful job,” Regina agrees.

“If only the past month hadn’t made any moment in her presence impossibly more annoying,” Zelena mumbles conspicuously over the rim of her wine glass as she brings it to her lips.

Regina rolls her eyes with a shake of her head.

“She’s going to be so disappointed when you leave without a potential true love tonight,” Zelena quips a moment later. “I’m surprised she’s not trying to play matchmaker.”

“Frankly, I’m relieved,” Regina sinks further against the pillar.

“Or perhaps, she’s just hopeful that you and her bumbleheaded daughter will finally get your shit together after a decade and admit that your madly in love.” Zelena is the one to nudge Regina this time, after following the direction Regina’s eyes had shifted to.

“Emma loves Hook,” Regina responds automatically, hoping Zelena will drop the subject.

“Perhaps,” Zelena shrugs. “But she’s _in_ love with _you_. Which makes it even more ridiculous that she’s staying in that sham of a marriage. You two have only become more sickening since we got back from Seattle.”

“Zelena,” Regina warns, but then Snow is walking over to them with Neal’s hand in hers, ending their conversation.

“Hi, Auntie,” Neal beams up at Regina, and she smiles wide at him, her hand moving to stroke the back of his head affectionately. “Henry gave me one of his old trucks that he found,” he tells her as she places a kiss to his head. He holds the toy up, happily showing it off. “It still works! It lights up and even sounds like a real truck!”

“I remember that one,” Regina grins, seeing the blue pickup truck in his hand. “It’s a classic. Henry played with that all the time.”

“I remembered it, too,” Snow joins in with a fond smile. “He would bring it to school and play with it at recess.”

Regina lifts her gaze back up to the woman in front of her. “I probably shouldn’t admit this, but you did a lovely job bringing this all together,” Regina tells her with a proud glint in her eye. “Even if you were insufferable the past few weeks.”

“I was not insufferable,” Snow objects with a frown.

“You were,” David steps up behind her, placing a kiss to her temple. “But we all still love you.”

“It was worth it,” Henry says, walking up to his family with Lucy. “Everything is fantastic, Grams.”

“Thank you, Henry,” she wraps her arm around him in a side hug.

“Kiss ass,” Emma mutters under her breath, poking Henry’s side as she moves to stand between her adult son and Zelena.

“I’ve learned from the best?” Henry teases with a playful glint in his eyes, which has Regina rolling hers at her son and his other mother, as Emma scoffs in mock offense.

"Shouldn't we be dancing?" Hook suddenly appears next to Emma, a hand extended. It causes Regina's stomach to twist as she watches Emma frown, but then, accept.

"Probably," Emma sighs, and gives an apologetic look to her family as she excuses herself from their conversation.

Regina doesn't miss the look Henry and Zelena exchange a knowing look or the way David clears his throat as his eyes communicate silently with Snow.

* * *

The rest of the night drags on for Regina. She tries to strike up conversations and spend time with her family, but everyone is scattered around and doing their own thing. Really, her heart just hasn’t been fully in it and she’s spent most of the evening sitting alone and taking in the jovial mood of the room before her.

Her eyes travel over the large room from where she sits alone at the long head table. She sees everyone mingling, couples dancing, and families enjoying themselves. Her gaze seeks out her family. They fall on Henry and Ella first, holding each other close, as they sway to the quiet love song that’s currently playing. Her heart warms and she can’t help the way her lips lift into a smile at seeing the smile on her son’s face as he whispers something into his wife’s ear. His smile only grows, as Lucy nudges them and puts an arm around both of her parents, grinning and swaying with them to the ballad.

Of course, Snow and Charming aren’t far away, arms embracing each other, while they’re caught up in their own little world as they move to the music. They move together perfectly; sweetly. Normally, Regina would find them too much and would look away quickly, but tonight even their romance fills her with the bubbling warmth of possibility and hopefulness. 

Zelena’s fiery hair grabs her attention next. And Regina can hear her hushed laughter as she talks with Belle and a gentleman Regina recognizes but doesn’t know. Her sister takes a sip from the champagne flute she’s holding, smiling brightly at the man beside her, while reaching out to touch Belle’s shoulder. Regina knows she can go over there, and Zelena will introduce her to the man and easily bring her into their conversation, but she’s not in the mood for anymore friendly small talk, especially with someone she’s never met.

Her eyes find her teenage son, instead. That Henry is standing off to the side, a glass that she hopes is punch from the _kids’ table,_ held firmly in his hands, while he talks and laughs with some of his peers that she recognizes from his class. She’s happy to see that he’s managed to find his place in this land and has begun to make it his home. All she wants for both of her sons is the happiness that she sees on their faces tonight. Though, it does make her miss toddler Henry pleading with her to stand on her feet and dance around the room. While it also brings back memories of Henry dancing with her at Emma’s wedding. It has her wondering if either Henry would want to dance with her tonight. But both of them look so content right now, she decides remaining at the table is best.

Observing from the outside.

Forgotten.

Lonely.

Wondering how she can have all she’s ever wanted, yet still feel like something’s missing.

Emma catches her eyes from across the room, then, and it’s fleeting, but still long enough for Regina to catch the wondering and hints of concern in them, even if Emma’s lips lift up in a brief smile. And that’s why Regina knows she’s foolish for suddenly feeling so isolated. So—alone.

And yet, the feelings of rejection, being an outsider, of not being good enough...flare within her. Those feelings she can still remember feeling so long ago; when the king only cherished his beloved daughter and continued to long for his first wife. The invisibility. The being a placeholder in a role that could never be filled by anyone else.

Regina sucks in a breath, fighting back the tears that warm her eyes and cause the image of Emma’s red dress to blur as it swishes with her movements, deep in the sea of other colors that move around it. 

Emma’s focused on Hook, though, and Regina is almost grateful. She needs to get out of there. It’s suddenly stifling and suffocating. The air too warm and atmosphere too heavy. She feels herself stand and her gaze travels over the room of people caught up in their conversations and dancing. She moves toward the archway and heads out onto the terrace, the refreshing spring night air offering some relief as she hugs herself with a shuddering breath.

A few long moments pass, and she begins to realize no one has followed her. It doesn’t completely surprise her, but she’s not sure whether she’s grateful or if she’d actually been hoping that someone would notice...her sons or Snow or Zelena or...

“You left,” she hears the light accusation from behind her. “Not fair. If you get to escape my mother’s ball that I have to endure in a ballgown, then I get to escape with you.” Regina hears the small smirk in Emma’s voice before she turns to see Emma’s shoulders dropping with a groan. “My feet are killing me.”

“Welcome to the fairytale. And royalty,” Regina mutters, but she knows it’s too flat and tired to be teasing.

“You okay?” Emma wonders, her worried eyes holding Regina’s as she moves to stand beside her.

Regina’s eyes lift to the moon, shining through the branches that reach out above them. “I’m fine. It was just—I suppose I’m tired.”

Emma’s brow furrows and Regina can tell she doesn’t believe her, as Emma searches her face for something. 

“Regina—“

“I’m fine. Really. You should go back to the pirate.”

Emma frowns at that and Regina has trouble suppressing the bitterness that rises in her.

“I’m surprised you even noticed my absence. I didn’t mean to ruin your dancing.” 

Emma studies her quizzically. “Trust me, you didn’t,” she says firmly, causing Regina to lift a questing eyebrow, which Emma chooses to ignore. “And of course, I noticed.”

Emma stops but there’s a silent _I always notice_ that hangs between them.

“I don’t need—“

Emma stops her with a roll of her eyes. “I know you, Regina. You don’t seem fine.”

“I’m—“

“Tired, yeah,” Emma concedes. “But you’re also not fine.”

“I just need a moment.”

Emma nods, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’m giving you your moment. For now,” Emma gives her a small, knowing smile, her eyes filled with a million little things, as she squeezes Regina’s arm tenderly, causing a tightness in Regina’s throat, even though, the comfort of the touch washes over her. “I’m here when you’re ready. With alcohol, a movie, silence.”

That causes Regina to respond with a genuine watery chuckle. “I can never get you to shut up.” 

“Not true,” Emma nudges her shoulder, and it’s playful but her eyes are serious. “There are plenty of times you’ve left me speechless.”

Her voice is hushed and there’s so much emotion in deep green eyes that Regina almost feels light headed as she holds her gaze. 

“Emma—” she finds herself able to murmur after a moment. And there’s a familiar flicker of hope for something that deep down she knows can never be. They do this dance often, but in the end...

“I should give you your moment,” Emma breathes. 

Regina tilts her head in agreement. “Hook is probably wondering where you are.”

“I’m pretty sure he knows,” Emma says without any hint of regret or guilt. 

“I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to steal you back, then.” 

“Regina—“

“Go, Emma,” and her eyes lift to the moon again, her body shuddering with the breath that leaves her. 

A sad smile tugs at Emma’s lips and she gives Regina a reluctant nod, turning to go back inside.

Once she no longer hears Emma’s footsteps along the cobblestone path, Regina’s shoulders fall, while her hands cover her face in an attempt to make everything she’s feeling fade away. Her eyes burn as her fingers rub against them and she squeezes them tight; a single tear slips down her cheek.

If only there was a way to destroy the feelings causing the sick feeling raging in her stomach. All she wants is for it to go away. The ache in her heart that shifts between too much love and too much longing. The yearning that burns within her constantly and can’t be turned off. The pain that crushes her without warning whenever she’s faced with the reality that Emma is Hook’s wife; that their stories played out in a way that didn’t end with them taking a chance and choosing each other in the only way they hadn’t.

If only there was a way to fall out of love with Emma Swan.

“I could hear your silent desperation.” A familiar voice startles her and she opens her eyes to see Sidney standing before her, in his genie attire from the other land. He eyes her coldly but there’s mischief in his expression. “What wish can you not use your own magic to grant? Hmm, Regina?”

An old spark is ignited within her. Some mix of anger and loathing, causing her to almost snarl at the being in front of her. Yet, it’s extinguished just as quickly by the exhaustion and resignation that continue to settle in her.

“Why would _you_ want to grant me a wish?” Regina studies him suspiciously.

“Because I can feel the essence of what it is,” Sidney reveals. “It won’t make you happy.”

Regina feels the way her heart sinks at that. She doesn’t know the specifics of how such a wish will work, but wishes always come with prices and consequences. That’s always been true.

“You can’t make someone fall in love with another, but can you grant someone’s wish to fall out of love?” Regina questions, trying to sound neutral and detached.

“Matters of the heart are complex, you know that,” Sidney begins. “But if your wish is to tamper with your own and not someone else’s, yes, I can grant you that.” Regina swallows thickly, her heart beating faster, nervously in her chest. Conflict rising within her at the possibility she’s now been given. “However, I suggest thinking it over very carefully, Regina. It won’t shatter your heart, but it will scar it. And that scar will go deeper—an echo of how great that love was.”

“But I won’t harbor such feelings once it’s done?”

“You will remember, but it will feel different…detached…as if the feelings existed a long time ago. You won’t hurt or be pained by those feelings anymore, but there’s no telling how it will change you. Especially, if the person is still in your life. And other feelings toward them will still exist and might become more prominent. Any platonic love, friendship, hate, attraction...”

Regina nods at that, weighing the price.

“As much as I don’t necessarily want to, I must remind you that it cannot be reversed by another wish,” Sidney warns explicitly. “And no spell can undo or alter it.”

Regina considers it carefully. The way it could affect her family. She tries to imagine not being in love with Emma and tries to remember a time before she was. But she can’t. She’s not sure when it changed and when Emma began to mean more to her than a co-parent or friend. She can’t remember the first time Emma smiled at her, making her heart skip; the first time a tentative touch sent chills down her spine; the first time Emma was more charming and endearing than childish and annoying.

What she does remember is the first time she feared losing Emma and felt like she couldn’t breathe. The first time where she was forced to face what it would be like not to have Emma there—and the shock of how much having Emma in her life suddenly mattered. She remembers the cold emptiness of possible loss and the hot relief that washed over her when Emma was pulled back on the deck of the Jolly Roger and she heard her coughing up saltwater and gasping for air. Her _breathing_.

Maybe that was when it had started to become something more.

And if not then, it must have been there when Henry and Emma had been forced to cross the town line because of Pan’s curse. The loss of Henry had been unbearable, but Emma being gone from her life had broken her, too. They’d fought together; risked everything for their son; started to trust one another. And then it was taken away. And for a year, all Regina had wanted was to be reunited with Henry and Emma. To discover what they could all be together. To have them in her life again.

But then, there was Neal and Hook and Robin Hood. Others that seemed to make sense, especially at the time.

It was easy to settle. To accept. To not question or push for more.

To convince yourself you were happy with the way things were.

That it was better not to risk what was already good for something more.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Regina confesses to herself, having forgotten Sidney was there.

The agony washes over her once more and she tries to quell it. The wish will make her a better friend. It will be best for their family. For Emma. It has to be.

“I’m ready,” Regina nods, opening her eyes to meet Sidney’s once again, and she can feel the certainty burning within them.

“Very well,” Sidney relents. “One wish, Regina. No more than that. This one is a favor.”

“You mean, your revenge disguised.”  
  


His lips quirk up into a smirk.

“I believe it’s deserved, _Your Majesty_ ,” he adds darkly. “Though, I must confess, I never considered how the Savior would be the perfect way of getting my revenge on you. I’m thankful to know this new scar you’ll bear will run deep.”

Hot anger seeps through Regina, but she takes a steadying breath and tries not to falter. There’s a second where she almost reconsiders and doesn’t want to give Sidney what he wants. But then, there’s Emma’s bright smile filling her mind, the fondness in her green eyes, and the tenderness in her touch. There’s the happiness Regina wants to give to her; happiness that isn’t tainted by her best friend coming between her marriage. She will no longer interfere with that. And whatever feelings Emma may share, she believes she’ll move on from when Regina isn’t there to reciprocate or unintentionally encourage them.

“I wish to no longer be in love with Emma Swan,” Regina declares without another thought, tears burning their way down her cheeks.

There’s a split second before something electric feels like it’s rushing through her. She thinks her heart stops but then it begins to pound loudly in her chest. It throbs, aches, burns. She tries to hold back a sob and the tears that threaten to fall with it. What she feels is less than heartbreak, but still painful. It’s still loss. It lasts for a few long moments. It’s an odd and overwhelming sensation.

She almost doesn’t hear the way Emma calls out to her. The way she rushes over to her and collapses with her to the stone path beneath their feet.

But then it’s over.

Everything is quiet.

Nothing hurts.

Her eyes meet Emma’s. The moonlight shows her the hurt, the disbelief, and the shock that swirls within them. She realizes Emma never left. That she’d heard the wish.

She raises her hand to Emma’s warm cheek, pressing against the trails of a few tears. And for the first time in so long, she knows what it’s like not to be in love with Emma Swan.

With a satisfied smile, Sidney vanishes.

* * *

“Regina,” Emma utters her name after a moment, her hand covering the one Regina has rested against her cheek. She clasps her fingers with her own.

“I needed to do this,” Regina admits with a look in her eyes that is sure and lacks any regret or remorse.

Emma shakes her head as their hands fall away to their respective laps. “I’m sorry,” is all that Emma manages for a few minutes.

They sit in silence, until Emma rises shakily to her feet, and walks over to a bench surrounded by roses. The buds are closed but should be ready to bloom any day. The irony of their beauty and promise of new life isn’t lost on her as she sits down and feels her world falling apart. Her heart tries not to crumble, even though it pumps painfully in her chest.

“Emma,” Regina whispers hesitantly as she stands in front of the other woman.

“All these years and now is when you choose to do something about it,” Emma says with a short humorless laugh, trying to push past the emotions that are trying to suffocate her. “Our timing really does suck, doesn’t it?”

It’s said mostly to herself but has Regina wondering what’s so different about now, than any other time they’d missed their chance.

“I suppose I deserve this. I’m the one who should never have married Hook in the first place,” Emma sighs in exasperation and stands abruptly. “Maybe if I’d admitted to myself how I was settling and how unhappy I was… _maybe…”_

She trails off, running a hand over her face to regain some composure.

“All that time you were away made me realize how stupid I was, and I still didn’t do much about it. And then, you and Henry came back, and I finally decided to get my shit together. You hoped that I’d been happy, and that made me realize how much I wasn’t. How much I failed us…and how I ruined it for both of us. Because I was too afraid of messing this up and wrecking what actually made me happy. _Who_.”

“Emma—”

“I was so determined to live the fairytale that everyone expected me to,” Emma admits quietly as she raises her eyes to Regina’s again. “I don’t know why I was afraid to tell you. I guess it just felt like it was never the right time or something came between us. And eventually, I learned to live with you being in my life the way you’ve been.”

“I understand,” Regina’s voice is hoarse.

“I never meant to cause you pain,” Emma apologizes.

“We both caused pain,” Regina admits for the two of them.

“And now—” Emma exhales a shaky breath. “I’m leaving Hook. I couldn’t do it anymore. We signed the divorce papers almost a week ago.”

Regina can’t control the gasp that gets caught in her throat, and Emma reaches out to steady her. The stun that takes her breath away is brief, but the hope and relief she expects to feel never come. What she feels is more of a relief as Emma’s friend. That she can now be out of that marriage that Regina knows Emma sacrificed herself to without bringing her much happiness in return.

“Yet, he’s hardly left your side since you signed them?” Regina wonders with some disbelief.

Emma laughs dryly and shrugs, “That was part of the deal. I didn’t want everyone staring and gossiping tonight. My mom was so excited for this ball. I would have rather stayed home.”

“You didn’t say anything,” Regina says matter-of-factly without any accusation, but a hint of rejection seems to taint her words, since Emma had decided not to confide in her best friend.

“I wasn’t ready. It was a little harder than I expected,” Emma confesses, her eyes raw with their vulnerability. “I needed a little time,” she reveals quietly, then in an even softer voice she admits, “I was hoping to convince you to dance with me sometime tonight, though. I shouldn’t have waited—”

“You still can,” Regina interrupts, her voice gentle, promising.

“What? A slow, friendly dance?” Emma scoffs, and for the first time a bitterness laces Emma’s words. “I’m still in love with you,” she breathes, her voice quiet and raspy, on the edge of breaking.

“And I still want to dance with you,” Regina steps closer, her eyes traveling over Emma, taking in the way her gown hugs her before it flows out; the way the moonlight glistens in her eyes; the way her hair is still tucked up in a bun. There’s a flicker of lust within her, but somehow it feels like something more. Something that should be impossible for her to feel, but it’s still there. Vague but present. “Dance with me,” Regina says, and hesitantly reaches for Emma’s hand, bringing it to her waist, before she does the same to the other one. It starts out unsure and awkward…led by confusion. But then, Regina leans further into Emma, her arms moving around her neck, and their bodies come together. It doesn’t take long for them to melt into each other as they sway together. It’s natural, familiar, and right. Regina rests her forehead against Emma’s and hears how Emma softly sucks in a breath, the heat from her exhale, tickling Regina’s lips and nose.

Their lips come together softly, tentatively. They brush over each other, then press lightly against each other. There’s something electric about it. A hum. Their eyes flutter open and search each other. And then, Regina smiles, leaning in and pulling Emma’s head toward hers. She finds Emma’s lips with hers and kisses her deeply. It doesn’t take long for Emma to deepen the kiss even more and suddenly there’s a rush of light and color. It startles them enough to part, and Regina knows what it means as she pulls back just far enough to take in the shocked expression on Emma’s face.

“Did we—?” Emma pants out.

“True love’s kiss,” Regina smiles. “And I’m still in love with you,” she grins and pulls Emma back to her, stroking her cheek.

“Good,” Emma sighs, leaning into her touch, “Because I don’t plan on falling out of love with you. Ever.”

"Never again," Regina agrees breathily, and it's filled with certainty and promise.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all again for reading!
> 
> Please, don't forget to check out crownedregality's beautiful art! [The Ball](%E2%80%9Carchiveofourown.org/works/26254855%22)


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